You Drink Your Tea Strangely
by taida
Summary: Along with the Tri-Wizard Tournament this year, Hogwarts is also going to be playing host to five transfer students from the Konoha Academy of Battle Magic. Can Hogwarts survive these crazy battle-magick users for a full year without falling to pieces?
1. Wish

**ALERT: THIS IS THE REPOSTED EDITION**

THE FORMULA—Ten reviews = Update

On pairings; I have one I _am _going to play around with for Sakura, because the pairing makes me laugh. All others are up to you guys. Don't be afraid to go crack!pairings, people!! Crazy is good!

_On a side note, this is focused on Fourth Year, in case you didn't pick that up. I am keeping with the storyline at this point, which means both the HP crew and the Naruto crew are fourteen. Oh, and be prepared for the Sorting, it may shock you, but it won't be changed. _

POLL!! Should more Naruto peeps show up later in the story??

**Summary: **Sakura, Naruto, Neji, Kiba, and Hinata are all selected as candidates for the foreign exchange student program Dumbledore is determined to set up. All five are students from the Konoha Academy of Battle Magic who will now be sent to Hogwarts for a year of 'cultural studies'.

**Warnings/Spoilers: **Spoilers up until Fourth year, language, explicit violence, possibly explicit sexual themes, pairings that will probably scare you ****less (I have only one solid pairing picked out, the rest are up to you guys), and other...stuff. Oh, and an unconventional plotline. Be afraid.

**Disclaimer: I am not worthy (although I **_**so **_**wish I was).**

"Haruno-senpai?"

Sakura looked up from her book on medical herbs and peered curiously at the terrified looking underclassman in front of her. "Yes, that's me. What is it?" She flashed him an encouraging smile, making him blush furiously.

"Ah...Tsunade-sama would like to see you in her office right away, Haruno-san."

Sakura sighed. She had been _so _looking forward to wasting the afternoon away with a nice book. Mentally waving goodbye to her carefree Saturday plans, she snapped the book shut with a soft thump and leaned over to drop it on a conveniently placed coffee table. "Alright, I'll be there soon." When he didn't move, she smiled at him sweetly. "Thank you for the message."

He turned a dull red and muttered about it being nothing and scampered out of the library. Oblivious to the stares she received, Sakura eased her way slowly out of the nice plush armchair and stretched luxuriously, reveling in the feeling of taunt muscle and sinew as she arch her back.

The pinkette missed the thud at the other end of the room as several male students collapsed from blood loss.

Letting her arms hang loosely by her sides once more, she let out an indignant huff that promised retribution to her headmistress for interrupting her Saturday. Sakura snagged her satchel of personal books, kunai, and standard first aid kit and tromped out the library doors.

_Tsunade-shishou had better have a good reason for this._

_

* * *

  
_

Tsunade remembered the years she had spent at KABM with fondness and affection. They had been the best years of her life, even if she had been the granddaughter of the current Headmaster. She had loved learning knew things, especially when it came to Healing magic. It wasn't common for someone to be interested in that area simply because this was a _battle _school. But she had worked hard, always wanting to help people, make their pain go away, and she had succeeded.

So when they offered her the chance to take on the position of Headmistress, she couldn't help but accept. She wanted to teach the new generations all about the bliss she herself had experienced here at KABM and help them on their own life journeys.

It was really to bad no one mentioned _this_ in the job profile.

"Tsunade-baa-chan!!" _Wham._

"Dammit you brat, I said shut up!! She'll get here when she gets here!!" Tsunade towered over the cowering blond boy. "I don't _care _how badly you want to know! I'm not saying _anything _until Sakura  
arrives—"

There was a metallic thunk as the large mahogany doors swung inward. "Tsunade-shishou? I'm here." Sakura poked her head through the door, blinking slightly at the number of students standing around the room.

Kiba was lounging in one of the antique, velvet armchairs next to the huge oak desk and matching bookcases, his ever-faithful dog sitting on his lap. Hinata was standing slightly behind him, wringing her hands and glancing nervously at Naruto, who was curled up in front of her Headmistress and was clutching his head. She also spot Neji leaning casually against one of the portraits on the other side of the room, far away from the chaos.

Sakura stepped all the way into the office before throwing herself to the side to avoid Naruto as he lunged desperately at her.

"Sakura-chaaannnn!!! Save me!! The old hag's gonna kill me!" Ignoring the blatantly slighted dodge, he latched onto her arm and whimpered. She coolly smacked him and shook him off, where he lay in a heap on the ground, peering up at her with watery eyes. Sakura ignored him and waved a slight hello to Neji, who inclined his head to her in return. Hinata smiled shyly at the pink-haired girl, while Kiba grinned lecherously and winked and Akamaru yipped a greeting. Resisting the urge to smack Kiba (no matter how cute his dog was) Sakura turned towards her headmistress.

"So, Tsunade-shishou? Why are we all here?"

Tsunade smiled slightly and relaxed out of her 'raging goddess of retribution' stance and plopped back down in her own armchair behind the desk. "Well, you know how the council has been pushing for international relations between magical societies, right?" Both Neji and Hinata nodded, being well aware of their own family's standing on the council. Hiashi was known to be very..._vocal_ about political stances.

Tsunade grinned and began sorting through the piles of sake-stained paperwork littering her desk, before yanking out a rather thick manila folder. "Well," Grinning with success at finding it, she waved the folder in their general direction. "these are the official copies of your agendas for the next ten months."

Kiba blinked. "What?" Naruto looked just as confused.

Sakura and Neji both stared in abject horror at the paperwork in her hands as they both quickly came to the same horrifying revelation.

Hinata blinked, but said nothing.

"You guys are gonna be exchange students in Britain!" Tsunade exclaimed happily.

There was a collective silence.

"B-but the final exams are in a month!" Sakura twitched slightly. "Are you insane? We _need _those scores to graduate!"

Tsunade tossed her blonde pigtails back dismissively. "You'll be fine, Sakura. We'll send you your tests when the time comes.

"Now, listen up, because this is important." Here, she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the surface of the desk. "I'm warning you, they don't use magic like we do. They call it magic, yes, but they cast '_spells_', '_curses_', and '_jinxes_' instead of using hand signs. Also, they are a lot more...ah..."

Here Tsunade paused slightly, before continuing. "...well, _peace-loving, _I suppose. They have laws against attacking or hurting people using magic, even with sparring."

There was a blank silence in the room as all five students stared at the blonde woman in confusion.

"What, so they don't, like, fight?" Kiba frowned and stroked Akamaru absently.

"Essentially, no. They see it as barbaric and unfair and have outlawed it."

"WHAT?! NO WAY, THAT'S PATHETIC!!" Naruto jumped up. "The most powerful person should be in control, how the hell can they tell who's most powerful if they don't fight??!" Naruto slammed his fist onto the desk angrily, and both Tsunade and Sakura shot him a warning glare.

"That does seem rather unlogical." Neji's smooth baritone cut into the conversation. He cocked his head to the side. "But I suppose that's their choice to make." Sakura grimaced as Naruto cooled down slightly, but shot Neji a grateful glance for bringing back some control.

"I guess, but it's still stupid." Naruto muttered and flopped down onto the ground, pouting slightly.

"It's the law, baka. Now, this is the information you need to know before you leave. I'm guessing you've already studied Europe's latest history?" There was a collective nod. "Excellent, that makes this so much easier. The school in Britain is also hosting the TriWizard Tournament this year. I've managed to bully the British Ministry of Magic into allowing you to try and compete, even with the age restrictions. That will give you something entertaining to do while you are there. Unfortunately, magical schools are very secretive. We have next to no information about Hogwarts itself."

"Hogwarts?" Hinata shyly put in, looking at the headmistress curiously. Kiba sniggered slightly at the name.

"The school you'll be attending. Anyway, you'll be leaving tomorrow. No, Naruto, they do not have ramen in Britain, and yes, Kiba, you may bring along Akamaru as a familiar." Kiba grinned and Naruto cringed in horror. "I took the liberty of getting these letters for you, by the way. Headmaster Albus Dumbledore sent them."

She passed out creamy parchment letters with sharp green script on them, all reading a variation of the same address. Sakura glanced down at it, then snorted slightly.

_Ms. Haruno Sakura_

_Headmistress' Office_

_Konoha Academy of Battle Magic_

_Japan_

"Now scram, all of you. I expect you to send in your responses tonight. Use the carrier birds, it's not like we have any owls laying around. Honestly." Tsunade rolled her eyes, already pulling out a quill and starting on some unfinished paperwork.

"Show up by the front doors by 7 o' clock or we'll leave you here. Dismissed."

* * *

Back in her dorm room, Sakura plopped down onto her single futon with a sigh, still clutching the letter of parchment in her hand. She glanced over to the second futon in the room, which was still empty.

_Ino must still be at her Legilimency class, then._

Sighing again, she slit open the letter with a flick of the wrist and one of her nicely manicured nails. Thank you, Ino.

Several more pieces of parchment were tucked away inside, and Sakura pulled the first and largest out warily.

_HOGWART'S SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY_

_Headmaster: Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore_

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorcerer, Chief Warlock, International Confed. Of Wizards, Chief Mugwump)_

_Dear students,_

_We are pleased to announce your acceptance into Hogwart's School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We cannot express our excitement in hosting the first student exchange program in over a century, as well as your presence in the TriWizard Tournament this year. Due to certain pre-arrangments, you will be allowed to compete in the Tournament despite not meeting standard age requirements._

_We have included with this letter a trinket of some kind that has been layered with a translation spell to allow you to communicate more easily among us. Please attempt to try it on as often as possible before arriving in Britain, so as to allot for more time to get used to the language._

_Also in this letter, you will find a list of all supplies needed for this year's Fourth Year students. Included are a list of books for both core classes. All alternative classes will be decided upon your entry to the school._

_As you will be entering the school for Fourth Year, you will also be allowed to visit Hogsmead if you so choose. Please fill out the permission slip to leave the castle grounds and send it with your reply._

_As a student you will be allowed one familiar according the the Familiar Registry XXV rulebook. You may bring along a cat, a rat, or a toad, although some exceptions may be applied due to cultural differences as long as the animal in question does not pose a threat to the students' safety._

_We await your responses eagerly. Term begins on September 1st. Please arrive at Platform 9 ¾ by 11 o' clock to catch the train._

_Minerva McGonagall _

_Deputy Headmistress_

Sakura groaned but cocked an eyebrow in interest. The school sounded organized, at the very least. Although, she really didn't get the need for all the titles at the top. This Dumbledore man seemed a _tad _bit of a show off, huh?

Sakura grinned, certain that he would try to woo the new transfer students to the 'light'. The students of KABM weren't exactly social, but they certainly heard enough. The craziest thing Sakura had ever heard, 'light' and 'dark' magic. It was ridiculous.

The only way to judge a person's character was through action and intent, not magic '_type_'. Ugh, Hogwart's might be just awful if she had to deal with that sort of prejudice as often as rumors implied she would.

Sliding out the second sheet, Sakura read through her new supplies list.

_Uniform_

_3 sets of plain black work robes _

_1 pointed black hat_

_3 suitable black winter cloaks_

_1 pair of protective gloves (dragonhide or similar)_

_Sufficient and proper clothing for Hogsmead weekends and holidays_

_Books_

_A Modern Guide To Ancient Runes_

By Cassandra Press

_The Standard Book of Spells (grade Four)_

By Miranda Goshawk

_Arithmancy and Spell Creation_

By Carmine de Morrison

_Book of Charms (grade Four)_

By Lilith Gabrine

_Defense Against the Dark_

By Alastor Moody

_Magical Drafts and Potions_

By Okamoto Suki

_Index of Magical Flora of the World_

By Okamoto Suki

_Other Equipment:  
1 wand  
1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)  
1 set glass or crystal phials  
1 telescope  
1 set brass scales_

Sakura blinked. No weapons, no pre-made healing potions, not even _armor. _How on earth did these British witches and wizards survive?


	2. Will

**ALERT: THIS IS THE REPOSTED EDITION**

THE FORMULA—Ten reviews = Update

On pairings; I have one I _am _going to play around with for Sakura, because the pairing makes me laugh. All others are up to you guys. Don't be afraid to go crack!pairings, people!! Crazy is good!

_On a side note, this is focused on Fourth Year, in case you didn't pick that up. I am keeping with the storyline at this point, which means both the HP crew and the Naruto crew are fourteen. Oh, and be prepared for the Sorting, it may shock you, but it won't be changed. _

POLL!! Should more Naruto peeps show up later in the story??

**Summary: **Sakura, Naruto, Neji, Kiba, and Hinata are all selected as candidates for the foreign exchange student program Dumbledore is determined to set up. All five are students from the Konoha Academy of Battle Magic who will now be sent to Hogwarts for a year of 'cultural studies'.

**Warnings/Spoilers: **Spoilers up until Fourth year, language, explicit violence, possibly explicit sexual themes, pairings that will probably scare you ****less (I have only one solid pairing picked out, the rest are up to you guys), and other...stuff. Oh, and an unconventional plotline. Be afraid.

**Disclaimer: **I am not worthy (although I _so _wish I was).

* * *

Naruto gaped.

"Oh...Oh my _gawd..." This, this was amazing. _So much _chaos. _So much _potential_ for chaos.

"Naruto, quit it! People are staring already, don't give them another reason!" Sakura punched the shell-shocked blond in the head and stepped over his body and through the entrance way into Diagon Ally. She had to admit, it _was _pretty cool, aside from the stupid civilians who _wouldn't stop staring._

Kami-sama, the overseas portkey was _hell. _She could feel her temper just sliding out of her grasp._  
_

Sakura heard a squeak from behind her and looked back to see Hinata attempting to stuff herself inside her furry little jacket in terror. Oh, yes, Hinata was terrified of social situations. Right. Sighing, she poked Kiba in the arm (he was standing next to her, gaping just as stupidly as Naruto). "Kiba!" She hissed. "Go help Hinata!"

Kiba nodded quickly and backed away from the portkey-lagged girl. Sakura resisted the urge to snarl and stomped her way through the crowds.

"Alright." She stopped at a suitable spot far enough away from the main traffic flow, next to cart selling caramelized wands and tiny pointy hats. "Where to first?"

Everyone looked at her. Sakura's eye ticked and she sighed and snatched the list from Neji, who gave her a slightly wounded look but said nothing.

Scanning the absolutely enormous list, Sakura thanked the gods for school funds. "Okay, listen up, we're gonna do this in rotations. Kiba, Naruto, you're both with me. There's no way I'm forcing you on Neji." She glared at them, and both Naruto and Kiba cowered accordingly.

"Hinata, Neji, you guys will stop by at the apothecary and pick up _all _of our ingredients. Kiba, Nar-"

"Why all of it?" Neji cut in.

Sakura shot him a suffering look. "What, you think I'm stupid enough to take _Naruto _and _Kiba_ into a store filled with glass jars and barrels of animal remains?_" _Neji paused, then nodded.

"I see your point."

"Right, anyway, Naruto, Kiba, you guys and I will be picking up books. Then we'll all meet up outside that old wand shop, Ollimers or whatever. We'll get our wands, and then Hinata and I will get some...robes and stuff and Neji, you, Naruto, and Kiba will go to that menagerie place and check out the animals. Then _we _will go to the menagerie, and _you guys _will go get clothes, got it?"

Sakura took in the glazed looks she was receiving from Kiba and Naruto and promptly ignored them. She turned to Neji, who nodded in understanding.

"Okay! So we're off!" She grabbed her two boys' hands and bolted back into the waves of people, dragging them along with her chakra-enhanced strength.

* * *

Sakura was happily perusing through the book shop, completely enjoying herself with the new selection of books. Even better, she could now read books in a _different language!! _

She smiled fondly down at the little silver ring around her left middle finger. She _had_ to learn that translation spell.

She squeaked excitedly when she ran across _Darkest Be Thy Pleasures, _a fantastic history book about the life of one of Asia's most powerful dark witches that had been stuffed behind a Hippogriff manual. She clutched it to her chest and turned around to find Naruto and Kiba and suddenly slammed into someone's (a very tall someone's) chest.

"Oof!" She was knocked backwards into the shelves behind her as she choked on her breath. Gasping slightly, she looked up into the face of a very, _very _tall redheaded boy.

"Oh, oops, err...sorry there, didn't see ya." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, gave her a funny look, and took a step back. Sakura hauled herself to her feet, shooting a glare at him for not offering to help her up (and the _didn't see ya _comment...was he implying that she was _short?_).

"Well, next time, look." Sakura sniffed reproachfully and attempted to look intimidating at a height of 5' 4''.

"Oi, I said I was sorry, didn't I?" The redhead glared at her. "There's no need to be pissed about it, Merlin."

Sakura frowned angrily up at him. "You know, maybe you should work on your _apology, _it seems to be lacking in a few crucial areas, like sincerity for one."

The redhead glared at her furiously. "Look, I don't have to apologize to some pureblooded First Year bint just 'cause she has a rich daddy, so go complain to some else!"

Sakura snarled. "_First Year? _You ungrateful lump of wasteful flesh, I'll tear you to pieces!"

* * *

Hinata stood staring in horror at the lines and lines of jars in the shop.

"Hinata-sama? Hinata, are you alright?" Neji glanced over at her in concern as she turned an ashen color. Hinata emitted a strangled noise and wavered dangerously, before tipping sideways into a dead faint.

Neji lunged and caught her before she hit the floor, blinking in surprise. "Hinata?" He quickly knelt down and placed her gently on the tiled floor, waving off the shopkeeper's assistance, and calmly began tapping the pressure points next to her temples. While he was waiting for her to revive, he glanced around.

_What was so scary about jars of dead animals, anyway?_

* * *

Luckily for one carrot-topped civilian, Naruto chose this exact moment to overturn several bookshelves near the front of the shop.

Sakura was pulled away from preparing to beat the rotten redheaded whelp to a pulp by screams of mass-panic as a small mob of people narrowly evaded getting crushed by Marina Cail's new series of charms books. A howl of pain from several customers however alerted Sakura to the fact that some had not escaped unscathed. She shot one last poisonous glare at the offending redhead and darted into the crowd, intent on finding her two charges before they did something else drastic.

Naruto was trying to claw his way out of the mob heading towards the exit when he spotted a pink blur to his left. A dislocating jerk to his shoulder by the pinkette yanked him out of the crowd and he made sure to snag Kiba from the fringe of the chaos before all three teenagers escaped through a broken window and into the main street of Diagon Ally, clutching their purchases close to their chests.

"Right, wands next." Sakura panted. The boys nodded quickly in agreement.

* * *

After scrambling past a rather boisterous crowd that was screaming loudly over a new type of broom (honestly, brooms?), and narrowly dodging a rather large and plump redheaded woman who had an entire posse along with her, Neji and Hinata finally made it to the wand shop.

"Neji!" Kiba desperately waved over at the long-haired boy, attempting to bring attention the the group of three, and they quickly convened near the wand shop's entrance.

"Hinata-chan, did you get everything?" Sakura was suddenly right next to Neji's elbow, and if it weren't for Neji's incredibly good breeding (and the very heaving packages of extremely temperamental ingredients in his arms) he probably would have jumped in surprise.

"A-ah, yes, S-Sakura-san. We have everything." Hinata smiled shyly and Sakura resisted the urge to hug her. So. Cute.

"Alright, let's head on in then." The pinkette felt a little better knowing that everyone was together again, and that the mob was farther away as well as that awful redheaded boy.

The wand shop, Ollivander's, Sakura winced at her previous word butchering) was very, very dusty and not exactly well lit. The walls were lined with long, thin rectangular boxes packed in tightly. There was no one at the register.

"Ah, Albus told me you'd be coming."

"Arrggghhh!!" Naruto jumped and slammed into a small end table sitting in a corner. The table fell sideways and hit a small wooden box on the window sill, which was holding an ancient-looking wand. The box exploded, burst into flames, and then it disintegrated in front of their eyes, leaving nothing but a pile of ashes.

"...Oops..." Naruto grinned nervously and glanced at the creepy old man who was staring at him from a sliding bookcase ladder on the wall. Next to Neji, Hinata nearly fell over in shock.

"Er...sorry about that, Naruto's a bit of a spaz...we can get that replaced..." Sakura glared at him when the boy opened his mouth to object. She cleared her throat. "We are here for our wands, if you'd be so kind."

The old man blinked. "Well of course, why else would you be here? Now, who'll be the first?"

There was a pause before Naruto jumped up eagerly. "I'LL DO IT!"

The wand-maker smiled easily. "Well, my boy, which is your wand hand?"

"Er..." He held up one arm questioningly.

Ollivander's smile grew. "Right it is then!" Shuffling up towards the rows of boxes, he ignored the screech of shock as Naruto met the tape measure.

"Holy shi-" Squawking indignantly, Naruto attempted to beat the yellow ribbon away from him as it attempted to measure the distance between his nostrils. Frantically he hid behind Sakura, who grabbed his arms and pinned him. When Ollivander turned around again, he was met with the strange, disproportionate sight of a tiny, delicate-looking pink-haired girl wrestling a boy nearly six inches taller than her. She was winning.

"Ah. Young man, can you please stand still?" Naruto stopped writhing and eyed him suspiciously.

"It isn't going to molest me?" Sakura smacked him, and Naruto meekly shut up. The tape measure did it's thing, and Ollivander began whipping out boxes.

"Try this one, birch and unicorn hair." A lamp caught fire on the other side of the room. The fire was neon purple.

"Hm...perhaps this? Pine and dragon heartstring, better for control." A vendor's booth exploded across the street, spraying shoppers with mashed cauldron cakes and other various pastries.

"No, no, definitely not! Holly and dragon heartstring, then." Neji's hair turned aquamarine, and Akamaru's lower half became suspiciously fish-like.

"What the hell, Naruto?!"

"I swear, I didn't mean to!"

* * *

17 wands later...

* * *

"_Alright. _That's enough." Ollivander raised a hand to massage his temples. "I'll just... take you back to the specialty wands, just to get this over with. Come on, _all _of you. I have no doubt you will all require something a little more...unique."

Naruto put down his most recent trial, which had summoned a giant mongoose from the menagerie across the ally which had proceeded to devour a chair, a desk lamp, and half of a picture frame , and dutifully followed the old man as he went through a side door on the right.

Everyone else trailed behind like ducklings. Neji was attempting to clean his hair using purifying pulses of battle magic normally used for healing bruises, Hinata was sporting a tattoo of the state of Montana on her left butt cheek (not that anyone knew yet), Kiba was carrying a strange creature which vaguely resembled the Capricorn emblem, and Sakura was completely untouched. _Mad dodging skills, bitch._

They stepped into a large room filled with jars upon jars of unlabeled liquids and feathers and furs. Thankfully, none contained intact animals, which pleased Hinata. Blocks of wood lay in stacks on the benches.

"Alright, just...fan out and don't break anything. Pick out whatever feels like it's drawing you in."

They all nodded in confusion but obeyed, spreading out for nearly twenty minutes. Each time someone found both a block of wood and a jar they liked, they would come put it on the center table and wait patiently.

One by one, they sorted through all manner of strange substances (one jar, Sakura swore on her life, was filled with curdled goat's milk). Finally, Kiba finished selecting his block of wood and Neji grabbed a jar of feathers from a high cabinet. The all gathered around the center table and proffered up their choices.

Ollivander nodded approvingly. "So, let's see what we've got. You, girl." Hinata blinked but pushed her jar and wood forward.

"Hmm...Egyptian Cotton Butterfly antenna...a rare find, excellent for more delicate spells. And Ivy, excellent, determination and an affinity with the moon, my dear? It matches your eyes." Hinata blushed furiously as Ollivander set her materials aside. "And you, young man?"

Kiba handed his stuff over without complaint. "Let us see. Werewolf blood, and Olivewood, for incredible communication aids, and extended senses. Wonderful, wonderful." Kiba snorted. He already _knew _that.

Next was Naruto. "Ah, interesting choice, that is. A strand or two of the larger fox of Korea, and Alder wood, for courage, leadership,and an animal association with...more foxes?"

Naruto cackled and clutched the block of wood to his chest. Ollivander eyed him warily and moved on.

"Now, you. Yes, yes, a fine specimen. Sterling eagle feather, very pretty birds, very fierce. And for the wand, a rather nice Canarywood block. Spiritual strength and rejuvenation, excellent for scrying and astral projection. Might I suggest Divination?" Neji just smiled slightly.

"And now, the final girl." Sakura shifted her things over to Ollivander.

"Well, now, Desert Ironwood. A more dark and wild, feminine energy, as well as being one of the hardest and heaviest woods in the world." Sakura smiled brilliantly, and the boys around her had to blink rapidly to retain their vision.

"And my core?"

"Ah, Runespoor fang, actually, particularly nasty snakes, very venomous for their small size."

Naruto choked back a laugh and Kiba snorted. Neji smirking slightly. Sakura glared sullenly and pouted. _She was not short!  
_

* * *

(1) _Darkest Be Thy Pleasures _was borrowed from the story Bloody Skies. It is probably the most awesome story I have ever read. Seriously.

(2) I tried to be original and more in depth with the wands. All of the wood information came from (golden/ ). Remove the slashes and go check it out, it's collection is huge.


	3. Want

As a warning; I'm pretty sure this story is going to be very drawn out. Nothing is going to happen very quickly, so be warned ahead of time.

_On a side note, this is focused on Fourth Year, in case you don't pick that up. I am keeping with the storyline at this point, which means both the HP crew and the Naruto crew are fourteen. Oh, and be prepared for the Sorting, it may shock you, but it won't be changed. _

POLL!! Should more Naruto peeps show up later in the story??

* * *

**Warnings/Spoilers: **Spoilers up until Fourth year, language, explicit violence, possibly explicit sexual themes, you know, the usual. Oh, and an unconventional plotline. Be afraid.

**Disclaimer: **I am not worthy (although I _so _wish I was).

* * *

Every so often in life, a person might experience what may be called an epiphany. Sometimes, not as monumental in scale as you might imagine, but rather life-altering none the less.

Sakura had actually experienced a fair number of these epiphanies in her fourteen years of life—

_(including everything from discovering that genetically altering human cells to allow for incredibly sped up healing will result in an incredibly painful hangover, to the undeniable fact that her possibly favorite taijutsu trainer, Mitarashi Anko, was _totally_ insane and probably suffering from schizophrenia) _

—but she always remembered to take them at face value.

Because in all honesty, epiphanies weren't as rare as most people might think. One could occur at any moment over just about anything, whether it be big or small, and you must always be prepared to accept them as a fact of your own life, no matter how silly, because it was these little life lessons that defined a person.

Like, for instance, the fact that Sakura really, really hated pins.

"_Ow, _dammit! Watch where you stab that thing!" Sakura glared down at the petrified woman who was attempting to measure the fittings for her new school robes. Yes, Sakura may be trained to withstand and ignore physical pain in battle, but damn it, those damn pins _hurt. _This woman was supposed to work with _school children, _you'd think she'd be a little more concerned as to where she stuck those things.

"M-maybe she would be less n-nervous if you didn't y-yell, Sakura-chan..." Hinata interjected from the other stool, glancing nervously at her temperamental friend. Sakura huffed and continued to glare steadily at the fitting mirror.

The woman-who-was-fitting-Sakura shot a grateful look at the quiet girl and swallowed, reaching for another bolt of cloth and some more pins._ Please, please let this be my last shift...._

_

* * *

_

Naruto had decided he had been doing a lot of gaping that day. But seriously, this place was _so cool! _He grinned ecstatically and practically sprinted into the building, as Kiba rushed after him and Neji followed sedately behind.

The inside was even more chaotic. Naruto resisted the urge to squeal when he spotted the toads.

* * *

Kiba glanced around, disappointed in the lack of canines to look at. Hm...maybe Britain didn't _have _dogs...

No. That was impossible. Really, it was practically _blasphemous_. Dogs could exist _anywhere._

Akamaru barked in agreement from inside his coat.

He trotted over to an assistant who was cleaning some tanks (with a single wave of her wand), determined to get to the bottom of the multi-racial anti-dog theory, and grinned flirtatiously. "Hey, there."

"Hi. Can I help you?" The young woman asked, tossing her light brown curls over one shoulder and smiling back prettily.

Kiba cocked his head to one side. "You got any dogs here in Britain?"

"I...dogs? Oh, no, most witches and wizards wouldn't even recognize one. Count yourself lucky I'm a muggleborn, so I know what you're talking about." She laughed and turned down another aisle, waving at him to follow her.

"But, we do have crups. They're a lot like dogs, but smarter, or so they say." She led him over to a large floor cage filled with snoozing puppies.

At least, they _looked _like puppies...Kiba wasn't sure anymore. He crouched down to get a better look, and Akamaru poked his head out of Kiba's hoodie. There was no _way _one of these was smarter that Akamaru...

* * *

Neji glanced over at Naruto, who was cooing over some strangely colored amphibians, and Kiba, who was chatting up a shopkeeper. He sighed, regretting that he had to do all the work. Honestly, they were better off with an owl. Communications was very important, and an owl was apparently the main form of communication in the British Wizarding World. He wondered who had thought up _that _brilliant idea...

_Okay, Minister! You lost the bet, so North America and Canada get to use the human mail carriers. South America's already got dibs on the parrots, so you're left with either the owls or the songbirds._

Right...

The owl section was the largest in the store and extremely easy to locate, and Neji spent several minutes perusing the various breed information plaques.

_That one is for speed, but this one is better for distance and long flights. That would be good for sending messages to the Academy...hmm, but that speckled one is more for heavy packages..._

But they'd only be sending messages, not objects. The Eagle Owl looked to be the best choice, as it was excellent for distance and was suitably large.

Neji glanced at the three Eagle Owls for sale above the information sign. All were noticeably larger than the surrounding owls, and sported large, burnt orange eyes and darkly streaked breasts. A very intimidating species, he decided.

The female was nearly a third larger than the other two males, and her chest was was streaked so deeply it was almost black in places. Neji cautiously reached out over the sign towards the elegant creature, well aware of the consequences if he touched the owl in a way that she deemed inappropriate.

She was a female after all, and you don't attend school with Sakura for three years without picking up on the unspoken rules like that.

Now that he thought about it, dealing with Sakura _was _kinda like handling a huge, temperamental bird of prey with talons the size of your face...

The huge owl eyed him for a moment, then made a slight burbling noise, ignored his outstretched hand, and lunged off her perch in a powerfully jostling motion. Neji nearly jumped back in alarm, only to freeze when the huge owl nearly collided with his head. Mid-way into the air, she slammed into his shoulder and clung determinedly, claws shaving through the cloak material like it was a wafer.

Neji winced and resisted the urge to turn his head and assimilate the damage done to the flesh of his shoulder. _I guess that was a yes. _He turned towards the cashier's, balancing the owl carefully.

* * *

"_Ow, ow, ow, OW!! _Stop it with the pins, for Kami's sake!_" _Naruto batted away the frustrated fitting woman and nearly fell off the stool in his attempt at self defense.

"Naruto, I swear to god if you do not stop this instant, I will tell Sakura." Neji hissed quietly from his left as he held out his arms for his own measurements.

Naruto quieted abruptly. The three fitting women glanced at each other, grateful for the restored calm, but slightly curious none the less.

_Was 'Sakura' their mother, or something?_

_

* * *

_

The two girls gazed adoringly at the basket of kittens, helpless to the little mewls and big, round eyes.

"Hinata-chan, you have to get one of them! Please, for me?" Sakura turned to her blushing friend eagerly. Hinata blinked in confusion, but nodded hesitantly.

"O-of course, S-sakura-chan. But w-why don't you get o-one, too?" Sakura waved her hand dismissively.

"Nah, It's okay Hinata-chan. One cat's enough. I think I might like something a bit more...exotic." The pinkette smiled dangerously. Hinata winced internally, recognizing the gleam that entered her classmate's eyes.

She was _plotting_.

"Remember, S-sakura-chan, it has to be on the a-approved list."

"Not if it's 'culturally significant', Hinata-chan!!"

Hinata swallowed uncomfortably as she watched her friend bounce happily over to the reptile tanks.

"Neh, Hinata-chan, what about this one?" Sakura pointed out a huge, toad-like creature with bat wings and a lizard tail that was dosing on a rock island, basking in the artificial sunshine it's magicked cage provided.

Hinata glanced at the information plate.

_Water Leaper_

_(Llamhigyn Y Dwr)_

_Commonly found in Welsh ponds and swamps, the Water Leaper is often blamed by muggles to eat livestock and even fishermen. Extremely useful in aquatic environments, it can dissolve it's own cells into the water to regenerate and even revive from death._

Hinata flinched slightly. "N-no, I don't think so, Sakura-chan. H-how about a s-simple...ah...s-snake, maybe?"

"Yeah, it is kinda ugly. And Welsh. I don't think I could pull off the whole 'cultural' cheat with it. Snake it is."

They meandered over to the snakes, and Hinata immediately pointed out the prettiest in the bunch.

"Ooh, shiny." Sakura knelt down by the tank, gazing the beautiful peacock-like scale patterns that shimmered across it's back.

The information card next to it read:

_Jatai_

_(Amicio Bellulus)_

_A rare breed of snake found in south-east Asia, the Jatai is most recognizable by it's distinctively peacock-like markings. One of it's most amazing traits is it's ability to change into a strip of cloth comparable to it's own body; in this way, it is easily mistaken as a wrap or, if it is young enough, a hair tie. _

Sakura smiled happily. Hinata edged away slowly.

* * *

"HEY GUYS!"

"..Hn."

"Greetings, my people!!"

"Kiba, shut up."

"H-how did your s-shopping go?"

"IT WAS AWESOME, HINATA-CHAN!! THERE WERE CAGES EVERYWHERE, AND THE WOMAN WITH THE PINS WAS EVIL, AND LOOK, LOOK, I GOT A TOA—"

_Bam._

"..."

"..."

"...Thank you, Sakura."

"You're welcome, Neji. Now, shall we go back to our hotel rooms?"

"Sure, that sounds good."

"What's the place called again? The Drippy Cauldron, or something?"

"Yes, something like that."

"Oi, Naruto hasn't gotten up yet, should someone check on him?"

"S-sakura-chan? Can y-you?"

"Look, he's fine guys. A minor concussion, nothing serious. He'll wake any time now."

"..."

"..."

"...Fine, Neji, grab him and let's go."

"_Me? _Why me?"

"...Are you _whining, _Neji?"

"I...no. No, I've got him."

"Good _boy_, Neji!"

"What was that, mutt-face?"

"Kiba, shut up and carry our bags."

* * *

**A/N I have questions!! If any reviewers can answer these for me, they will receive my overwhelming gratitude, which is all you really need to succeed in life, anyway. (Beware: random questions)**

What is Draco's hair style in fourth year?

Is Ron on the Quidditch team in fourth year?

Does anyone have an 'official' list of optional Hogwart's classes?

Do you want Hermione to be a) admirable, or b) slightly annoying?

Should Ron continue being an arse?

**These are all very important questions, and I would be sooo happy to have answers to a couple of them!! Please review!!**


	4. Wink

As a warning; I'm pretty sure this story is going to be very drawn out. Nothing is going to happen very quickly, so be warned ahead of time.

POLL!! Should more Naruto peeps show up later in the story??

* * *

**Warnings/Spoilers: **Spoilers up until Fourth year, language, explicit violence, possibly explicit sexual themes, you know, the usual. Oh, and an unconventional plotline. Be afraid.

**Disclaimer: **I am not worthy (although I _so _wish I was).

* * *

So, here they were. Sitting above the Leaky Cauldron (who named a bar_ that_, anyway?), lounging uselessly with absolutely nothing to do in the mean time. It would be two more days until the Quidditch World Cup, something which Kiba was extremely enthusiastic about—

_(It's QUIDDITCH! It's a whole other sport we know nothing about! How could I have not _heard _about it before now?! They play with flying balls_, _for Kami's sake!! I mean, seriously, how many balls do you know that _bludgeon_? BLUDGEON_. _That is an awesome word. Come on Sakura, don't you want to beat the living shit out of two animated balls using a bat?)_

—even if the constant talk about it made Hinata extremely nervous. For a required intern course on basic healing at KABM, Hinata had served a semester administering first aid to civilian soccer and rugby players at local games.

Hinata really didn't want to see what would happen if you put a sport like that two hundred feet into the air.

Naruto thought the whole thing was stupid, seeing as you couldn't actually attack the other players. Sakura pointed out that if no one _caught you _attacking, it wasn't exactly against the rules.

Neji resisted the urge to slam his head against the breakfast bar repeatedly, and instead ate his bowl of rice in suffering silence.

* * *

"We could play cards."

Sakura flicked a piece of chicken at Naruto using her chopsticks, which was actually quite a feat seeing as he was at the other end of the table. "Naruto, I will _not _play another round of Go Fish with you. It's completely pointless seeing as Kiba cheats anyway—with his dog, no less."

Kiba objected loudly"Oi! Just because I take advantage of my resources does _not—"_

He broke off, choking on the teriyaki now lodged in his throat. Both Sakura and Neji stared dispassionately at the brunette boy, thinking back on the wasted hours they had spent previously, futilely throwing ribbons and hair clips into the betting pile.

Hinata blinked in concern. "K-Kiba-kun, are you a-alright?" She reached over and patted him on the back. Neji snorted slightly, and Sakura stole Kiba's box of rice while everyone was distracted.

"Ah, come on guys! I'm _bored!"_Naruto howled, realizing that the attention was drifting off the _real _problem here.

"Well, go read a book." Sakura shot him a look, clearly pointing out that his apparent lack of entertainment sure as hell wasn't _her _fault.

Naruto whined, and if possible got even louder. Neji snarled irritably and stabbed at his plate of escargot_. _

_How the hell did he get those delivered? _Sakura wondered absently.

"We don't HAVE any books, Sakura-chan!! All we have are those dumb school books, and there's no _way _I'm going to work on school work! It's still summer!!"

"Practice spells then."

Naruto fisted his hands into his hair, clearly distraught and looking like the 70's version of mad Ophelia. "I already have! That's all we've done since we got here! OW!! DAMMIT KIBA!!"

"Then shut up before I throw _another _chunk of meat at your face, blondie! Some of us are trying to eat here!!"

Naruto, indignant and starting to bruise under his right eye, reckless flung a cheese-coated nacho at Kiba's head. It missed entirely and landed in Sakura's confiscated box of rice.

She stared down motionlessly at the now contaminated meal, slowly trying to reign in the gathering rage. When that failed, she launched the rice box across the table where it collided spectacularly with the side of Naruto's head, rice exploding in every direction.

"..."

"Shit. I swear to god, Neji, I did _not mean too—"_

Neji calmly picked up his plate of snails, and all hell then broke loose.

* * *

Hinata nibbled on one of her strawberries quietly, watching from the sofa across the room as the dinner table dissolved into chaos.

* * *

The night was silent, hot and muggy in the falling summer spirit. A wispy breeze occasionally made its way drifting around past the cracked window of Room #106, but other than that, all was still aside from the chirping of crickets and the occasional barking dog from the muggle side of London. Sadly, the peace was not meant to last, and was abruptly shattered mere moments after midnight struck.

"_ARRGHHH!!!"_

Naruto violently met the floor next to his makeshift bed with a loud thud, groaning and clutching his skull. _Wha...?_

"_KILL IT! KILLIT KILLIT KILLIT!!!"_

"Kiba...? What the hell?" He blinked groggily. _What time was it, anyway?_

He looked around curiously for a clock or something.

"SNAKE!!! SNAKE IN MY PANTS!!"

Naruto blinked, watching as Kiba flailed frantically around the living room area of the dingy little hotel room, slamming up against walls and frantically scratching at his pajama bottoms. It looked to all the world as if he was attempting to molest the cheap furniture as he desperately whacked his hips against the various seating arrangements and table.

Naruto let his head drop to the floor with a thud, intent on ignoring his 'roommate' for as long as possible.

Hinata poked her head out the doorway of the only _real _bedroom (which the girls—and Neji—had promptly commandeered the moment they walked into Room #106), curious as to the ruckus.

Behind Hinata, Sakura crawled out from beneath the covers of the second twin bed in the room and nearly stepped on Neji, who was sleeping on the floor next to her.

She stumbled over to the violet-haired girl, clutching her blankets sleepily. "Hinata-chan? Who's screaming..."

"I-I think K-Kiba-kun has discovered t-the hair ribbon he w-won off you last evening, S-Sakura-chan."

Sakura blinked several times, then grinned contentedly, remembering her cleverly plotted scheme to get revenge last evening.

_Hehehe...sucker._

* * *

"That's your pet."

"Yup!" Sakura lovingly stroked down the patterned back of her newest friend. "Her name is Anzu."

Neji looked at her funny. "...You named her apricot?"

"Shut up," Sakura replied promptly. "It's cute."

"Sakura," Kiba stared at her, talking slowly as if communicating with a small child. "You bought a snake?"

"Um, yeah. Clearly." The _duh _was left unsaid, but heard by everyone.

"And it turns into a fucking hair piece?"

Sakura frowned at his language. "Watch your mouth, dog breath. And yes, for your information she _does _have the magical ability to shift into a piece of cloth."

"So for this reason _you bet it in a card game against me?_"

Neji and Hinata sat comfortably on the sofa, waiting patiently for the preplanned portkey set for the World Cup to arrive at their rooms. Neither one of them were involved in the current situation, and Naruto was too busy in the kitchen inhaling his second to last bowl of instant ramen to pay any attention to the latest fight.

Sakura grinned. "You brought it on yourself, dog boy. Don't think I don't know where you stash your winnings. All _I _had to do was tell Anzu to shift back into snake form later that night and crawl out from under your bed."

"_You can talk to that monster?!" _

Sakura sharply smacked Kiba across the face (thankfully, without any chakra input) and snarled warningly.

"I said watch your mouth! And _no_, I can't talk to hernaturally. I cast one of those ' translation spells' the diplomats back at KABM were raving on and on about."

She paused.

"...although I wasn't sure if it would work on a snake, so I also bought some 'intelligence enhancement' charms the British government uses on their owls."

"_Yessss, you sssstupid human. Ssssome of ussss have brainssss now." _Anzu hissed from around Sakura's neck.

Kiba blanched.

It was at that opportune moment that the portkey popped into existence on the coffee table.

* * *

The stadium for the Quidditch World Cup was...huge, to put it mildly. The pitch was amazing, and the number of cheap plastic seats the government had managed to cram into the oval shaped stadium was simply astounding.

Unfortunately, since KABM hadn't made an official announcement to the 'Ministry of Magic' of Britain, the new students hadn't listed as a group party, which meant that their seats had been chosen randomly.

Which meant that four fourteen year olds (plus Neji, who was actually fifteen) would be spread out over an area roughly the size of a small village.

Neji feared for international relations, and prayed that nothing catch on fire while they were there. After that they divided up with their tickets, making their way up the huge, mostly empty stands, as they had gotten there early.

Apparently the seat numbers had been written in some sort of code, though, and although Sakura didn't know about anyone else, she had had to ask for directions a total of six times from various witches and wizards dispersed throughout the stands in order to find her seat.

Sakura sighed as she glanced around in the strange, box-like room she had been directed to. She glanced at her ticket (AC-32 Level 9, 46L: 93N), and made her way towards the front seats near the right corner. Apparently she had gotten lucky; these were fabulous seats. They literally had the entire view of the quidditch pitch right there in front of them.

Another ten minutes passed before others started arriving at the box seats, and all of them look suspiciously wealthy. There was also a..._thing..._with huge eyes and batty ears sitting two seats down from her, who was presumably saving a seat for someone. Sakura tried not to look at it that much, as it was creepy as all hell.

Sakura twitched slightly. _This must be the VIP seating. What the hell am I doing here? I'm a student, for Kami's sake. What was that ticketeer _thinking_? Let's screw with the little pink-haired girl?_

Just then a family of redheads came tromping in, looking very, very different from the other, more composed spectators behind her.

Sakura, who had risen from her seat early on to stand near the edge of the platform, blinked at the number of children the plump and matronly woman seemed to be trying to control. Gah, it was so weird here in England, where family sizes varied so much and it was _un_usual to have only one child.

The, she caught sight of _him. _The redhead from the bookstore. The redhead from the bookstore that had been rude and had blown her off and called her names.

And called her _short_. She quickly pulled up the hood of her new cloak to avoid confrontation in such a public setting, seeing as British wizards were queasy about blood and such.

Mint green eyes narrowed thoughtfully at the family. Two twins, she suspected, were darting merrily about, and Sakura considered the risk of some large explosion happening in their presence _very_ likely.

Almost like a mix between Naruto and Kiba, but less stupid and more prone to mischief...

Sakura's slight frame shuddered at the thought. Then there was _he_-with-no-manners, and another girl and a boy. The girl and long, bushy brown hair that looked like it would turn frizzy if put under any small amount of stress. She had a book in her lap, and although she wasn't reading it currently, it was obviously there for entertainment purposes if the game proved to be uninteresting.

The boy was rather thin, almost feminine in his slenderness, and had rather untidy black hair and skin that looked to be just a few shades away from Sakura's own porcelain. A vivid, jagged scar was positioned on his forehead, almost as though it had been carved there purposely. It was the boy's eyes, however, that were the focus of his entire face. They were a hypnotic shade of blazing green, sharp and bright against dark lashes. It was an absolutely stunning combination, and Sakura let herself watch him out of the corner of her eyes with admiration and a healthy dose of female envy. God, they were pretty.

Once the family (and the two whom Sakura presumed were friends) were seated, everyone seemed to settle down in anticipation for the coming game. Suddenly another family of three stepped into the box, and Sakura was forced to blink at the sheer _brightness _of their coloring. _Japan needs more variety, _she mused, staring in fascination at the new arrivals.

The eldest man towered over all others in the room at an intimidating 6' 4'', and seemed to impose over everyone else using his mere presence. Platinum blond hair fell past his shoulder blades and down to his middle back, secured neatly with a low tie. Solid black robes fell to the ground in perfect folds, and his skin matched Sakura's perfectly. Steely silver eyes watched the crowd and the quidditch pitch with a cold, neutral gaze.

The positively lovely woman who accompanied him stood at a respectable 5' 6'', dainty and slim with her hands folded neatly into her skirts. Her posture was as noble as her husband's, proud and defined. Pale skin and wavy golden blonde locks cascaded down to her waist, decorated with the occasional pins that looked suspiciously like diamonds.

Their son was...eye-catching, to say the least. He had inherited the platinum blond hair from his father, which he wore in a casual disarray that was both nonchalant and elegant. Perfect, moon pale skin that rivaled her own and flawless, arching eyebrows framed warm mercury eyes, slightly more alive than his father's.

Sakura could only stare dazedly at what she could assume were the 'elite' of the European Wizarding World.

_So...so pretty...shiny golden pretty...wanna touch..._

_NO. MUST NOT CAUSE INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT. MUST. RESIST. SHINY PRETTY. _It was with a great deal of self-control that Sakura resisted prancing over to the beautiful blond boy and petting him. She settled for discretely spying on the family for the next several minutes as they found their seats.

Sakura watched cheerfully as Little Pretty (who she later discovered was named Draco Malfoy) immediately staring arguing with the redhead (who, _finally, _she learned was Ronald Weasley). They traded blows and spitefully clever comments...well, occasionally clever. Meanwhile, Sakura got a crash course in Wizarding blood status and all the various derogatory terms that were used to describe other wizards here in the West. She made sure to remember as many insults and swear words as she could so she would be able to deliver a proper tongue lashing to any British idiots at her new school at a later date.

She made doubly sure to remember the one's that made Ronald Weasley turn that delightful shade of fire-engine red.

* * *

**A/N FOR CHAPPY NUMBER FOUR!!!**

**Ta da!! The next chapter! Which is out totally late... ;_; I'm so, so sorry...I don't even have a decent excuse...  
**

**(Imagine me begging for forgiveness right... :here:) **

**And thank you guys soooooooo much for the questions feedback for last chapter!! I got so many responses!! It makes me squee. And write faster. (hint, hint)**

**Over and out!! **

**-taida**


	5. Whirl

Mobs were painful, inconvenient things, Sakura decided. She launched herself over a fallen witch with spring-sprung curls the color of Brazilian parrot plumage and continued her path of destruction through the crowds. Screams surrounded her on all sides as witches and wizards surged forward like one great school of tuna fish, trying to escape the _other _mob that was clearly not presenting much real danger.

_Didn't the stupid people realize that the white-face mob was tossing around a couple of muggles? They weren't going after any of the spectators, and if the mass of idiots just stopped to _think_, they'd probably realize that they were in just as much danger as a field of cows were. _

At this point, all Sakura wanted to do was reach the forest and its promised sanctuary of climbable trees. Hopefully Neji and Hinata would have enough sense to do the same, and frankly in Kiba and Naruto's case, all Sakura wanted was for no one to die and nothing to explode.

_Please, please don't step on anyone important, _she prayed as she hopped over various bodies that littered the ground. Most looked like they had just been unfortunate enough to trip and get trampled in the rampage of sheeple that had just came through. None of them looked dead, thankfully.

Suddenly Sakura was forced to veer to the left as she caught sight of a familiar shock of black hair. The boy from the quidditch box was half lying on the ground in a daze, one hand pressed to his bleeding temple and the other supporting the front of his body. Glassy green eyes looked around hazily from behind those god-awful bottle cap glasses.

Sakura screeched to a stop and pounced happily at the familiar face.

"Hey, I can I sit here?" Queuing the megawatt smile, Sakura cheerful gestured towards the bare, muddy ground next to the boy. He looked up at her smiling face in bewilderment. Those big emerald eyes blinked and sooty lashes fluttered over them for a moment as he nodded confusedly.

Sakura happily plopped herself gracefully onto the soaked grass next to him. All around them, stragglers from the main hoard continued to scamper by towards the woods. Sakura decided she'd ignore them in favor of her newest friend.

"So, what're doing out here? Shouldn't you be trailing after some responsible adult?"

"Um..." He had a sweet voice, soft and feather light and difficult to hear through the obnoxious howling coming from the woods. "My friend's dad told us to get to the forest ourselves. I think he was going to go fight those...those other people."

Sakura hmmed, eying him critically. "And where are the rest of 'us'?"

At this the boy blushed a furious crimson. "I-I tripped, I think. I don't really remember. I think they went ahead." Sakura cooed and leaned comfortably against his side. The boy was stick thin, near emaciated, and the pink-haired girl was sure that if a child modeling agency ever caught wind of him, he'd be snapped up faster than you could say 'dieting'.

Plus, he was rather warm, and the mud she had casually thrown herself into was seeping through her thighs. It was rather chilly and creepy at the same time.

"Er, if you don't mind, w-who _are _you anyway?"

Sakura blinked at the hesitant question. She supposed it was a reasonable one. "Haruno Sakura, and yes, this is my real hair color." She supplied amiably. "You?"

The green-eyed boy glanced at her nervously. "Potter. Um—Harry, I mean...wait, no, Potter's my surname, so I guess Harry, I-I'm Harry. Not Pott—Just...just Harry..." He drifted off, his voice ceasing to stutter.

"Don't strain yourself, sweetheart." Sakura patted him on the top of his head, then began combing the dark, flyaway strands tenderly. _Soft, _she purred, raking her Ino-licious nails along his scalp. Green Eyes shivered and stayed quiet. Absently, she noticed he was trembling finely against her side.

_Oh. So that's what the blood was about..._Sakura wriggled guilty and reached over to turn his head towards her. Wide emerald eyes blinked at her as she carefully placed her index and middle fingertips against the red-streaked temple. He winced and flinched away from the pain and Sakura shushed him quickly, murmuring reassurances as she sent a trickle of cha—_magic, _she reminded herself_, _into the wound.

After that it was easy to simply encourage the blood flow to clot at the surface, the surrounding nerves to stop zinging pain signals to the poor boy's brain, and the cell tissue to begin repair. Two silent minutes of concentration later and there wasn't a scratch in sight. She drew back smugly.

"That's probably much more comfortable." He stared at her incredulously as he tentatively poked the side of his own head to test for pain (which, in retrospect, was a hysterically funny mental image, Sakura decided).

"How'd you..."

"Magic!" She replied with gusto and a sense of accomplishment.

"...I gathered that part, yeah."

Sakura sniffed and looked down at him (which was, in reality, looking across at him—they were, regretfully, the same height). "Then why are you asking?"

Harry had by now achieved the long-suffering look that so many KABM teachers and students had worn over the years in reference to Haruno Sakura's thought processes. "Never mind."

The pinkette grinned. Then, out of nowhere the squishing sound of someone slogging through mud reached their ears. Sakura glanced up curiously at the now near-empty field (far off to the right side of their line a vision the cult was still prancing about with their precariously dangling civilians).

Sakura's eyes widened happily as she caught sight of the lone figure at the edge of the woods to their left. Harry tried to balk as she tugged him up hurriedly, staring wide-eyed and furious at the direction Sakura was now dragging them towards.

"Come on, er, Harry! We don't want Pretty to run off without us!"

Harry stared in abject horror as the utterly mad girl danced away cheerfully, unaware of the impending platinum blond-colored crisis she was walking/twirling towards.

* * *

Hinata was terrified. More terrified than she normally was.

All about her were screaming, hysterical people stampeding every which way, with a general consensus to head left or right occasionally. Not only was their sense of direction iffy, but they chose to travel at speeds and levels of clumsiness that promised numerous unconscious bodies that would have to be revived.

Hinata knew this, and Hinata was very, very frightened. Neji was nowhere in sight (in fact, he was probably already in a safe place—her cousin was always efficient), the beloved, pink-haired, unofficial leader of the group was who _knows _where, most likely wandering about and poking her nose into things she shouldn't, and the closest she got to her other schoolmates was the moment when she looked up over the crowd in shock and saw a small white puppy fly through the air at an alarming speed.

She sincerely hoped Kiba had been able to catch Akamaru in time.

Suddenly, she tripped backwards, defying the laws of physics in a rather profound manner, and was bodily thrown onto the ground. Hinata lay in the dirt for a whole of two seconds before realizing in slight shock that laying on her back with her internal organs exposed was not the safest position to be in a mob, and she quickly lunged back into a vertical stance that allowed for running. The magic-users around her hadn't even noticed her slip.

Hinata jogged along with them anyway, every once and a while making a flying leap when she had enough space to attempt to see over everyone's heads and spot her teammates. For a moment, she could have sworn she saw pink hair in the distance, but before she could jump again someone elbowed her in the gut and she was forced to hip-check them in defense.

This unfortunately started a chain reaction of falling witches and wizards as a line of them tumbled to the ground, whacking into each other unintentionally and sending people sprawling in every direction like a mass cat fight at a gay bar.

Hinata winced in apology and tried to hop over several of her victims before one woman reached out and hooked onto her cloak, dragging the blue-haired girl down to the ground. Panicking, Hinata attempted to claw her way back up to the higher levels of the mob like a feline, unintentionally dooming several other people as she used them as leverage.

Successfully, she managed to get her legs back under her and a manageable amount of elbow room to defend as the mass of people continued moving forward. She flushed with success and sprinted on.

* * *

High up in the branches of a particularly noble-looking spruce tree, Neji crouched contentedly. He amused himself by dropping pine cones onto the people scampering below him as he waited for his teammates to arrive.

* * *

Somehow, Kiba had managed to become part of the mob section closest to the evil-looking creeps that were throwing people around in the air. It was a decidedly tense place to be, especially when a masked man shot out a spell that rebounded off one of the aurors' hastily erected shields and instead hit Akamaru, who was bolting ahead of Kiba by several feet.

A strangled cry of horror emerged from the brunette boy's throat and he lunged forward to grab the brown and white puppy, but not before Akamaru was swung upwards into the air like a puppet.

_Shit! _Kiba sprinted through the crowds, slamming people left and right in an effort to follow his dog's aerial path through the skies. Suddenly, a break in the crowd allowed Kiba to spot one of the masked men who was standing still, staring upwards in confusion at what was clearly _not_ a helpless muggle that was being levitated by his spell.

Kiba _lunged._ Howling furiously, he caught the totally unprepared man in a headlock and slammed him face first into the mud. Arms were wrenched behind the man's back and the slightly stubby wand the unknown person had been waving was snapped under Kiba's armored combat boots.

The frantic brunette boy glanced up from the chokehold he was initiating just in time to see the levitation spell go haywire and launch Akamaru another fifty feet into the air.

_Double shit._

* * *

Naruto was extremely pissy. Not just because mobs were rude and liked to shove poor blond boys, but also because shoving them back was apparently not allowed. He was forced to fend off dozens of angry witches after he threw one of their own to the ground in an act of vengeance.

Naruto decided quickly to make a data list like the ones Shikamaru had tried to coach him into using to organize a potentially dangerous situation. Using his senses, he must gather information relating to the attack methodically and in a precise manner.

_Fact number one—British women have tempers just as short as Japanese women._

That was an excellent start, Naruto decided as he narrowly avoided being scalped by an enraged redhead with corkscrew curls. It could be used in the future as a reference of how to deal with foreigners. Sakura-chan would be proud.

_Number two—fake nails are harder than real nails, and will break off and embed themselves into human flesh if twisted._

This was a mixed blessing, partially because it meant he had an adequate technique for neutralizing that specific attack, but also because it meant that there were now small bits of "Cinnamon Red Apple" tinted-acrylics lodged in his right bicep.

_Three—Perfume bottles are not shatter-proof. The expensive-looking ones are very rarely made of plastic._

Naruto tried futilely to shake the shards of glass out of his sleeves while at the same time avoid getting an inconvenient stiletto pierced into his navel.

_Fourth fact—Manufacturers of western purses designed the decorative locks and buttons as weapons of self-defense for housewives. Somewhere along the line, people started adding steel bracers and lead weights to the framework of the purse in an effort to increase the efficiency of the product._

A brilliant yellow crocodile-skinned bag that was probably the two-thousand dollar pride and joy of some Prada bastard from Wizarding New York slammed into the side of Naruto's head, leaving him dazed long enough for the dirty blonde female in a coral pink summer dress to lunge at him with a tube of lipstick.

F_act number five—Lipstick is not meant for ocular use. It is also not as soft as it appears to be. _

Naruto resisted the urge to cry.

A mad scramble ensued, leaving the redhead and the bitchy looking brunette on the ground unconscious and the dark-haired woman who looked young enough to be a homewrecker throwing up her Danish pastry luncheon into the mud.

The blonde in the dress was trying valiantly to put out her now flaming cardigan in a desperate attempt to save the silk material using a weak aguamentispell.

Naruto had taken the distraction with eager hands and was in the process of bolting away from the scene of the crime at the exact same moment that a small, unidentifiable object came hurdling through the air and slammed into his chest, knocking him to the ground. Naruto weakly coughed from his position in the mud and blearily cracked his eyes open.

Akamaru barked cheerfully at his face in greeting and gave him a grateful lick before hopping off the blond's ribcage with a thump.

* * *

Sakura was pleased with herself. Not only had she acquired two new henchmen, she had also found Neji, which was definitely a plus. Byakugan was useful.

Behind her, she could hear her newest minions bickering sullenly. She slowed down until she sidled up between them, cheerfully linking arms with them both.

"Come on boys, don't be grumpy. We'll find everyone else sooner or later." _Probably later, _she suspected privately, but chose not to share this insight with any of her companions.

"Why are we even out here again?" Draco Malfoy was his father's son through and through, and when he discovered that the insane, mildly pretty pink-haired girl was technically a foreign diplomat, the blonde boy had tried to be as polite to her as he possibly could manage.

Still, Draco was reaching his breaking point.

"Sakura, can we please sit down?" Harry asked plaintively. Draco snorted. The green-eyed boy stomped ruthlessly on his foot and Draco kicked him in retaliation. Sakura immediately sat down on the mossy forest floor and grabbed both their ankles and yanked rather hard_. _The boys hit the ground at the same time, one with an undignified yelp, the other swearing profusely under his breath.

Neji folded himself into a meditative position next to Sakura and proceeded to ignore them all.

"We're just waiting for the others to find us. Hopefully Hinata will have located Naruto and Kiba soon with her Byakugan. After that we'll wander around some more until we find where you guys are supposed to be."

Draco leaned forward curiously. "You've mentioned that before."

"What?"

"The Byakoo-thing."

Harry perked up in interest as Sakura opened her mouth to respond.

"It's a bloodline." Neji interrupted with barely-veiled disdain, and all heads turned towards him. "It allows the user to look over long distances, for one."

Sakura nodded. "It's also extremely useful for close combat."

The green-eyed boy was extremely confused. "What's a bloodline? And what do you mean clo—"

"Oh, shut it, Potter. If they don't want to explain it, they don't have to." Draco snarled arrogantly. Harry bristled furiously and bared his teeth like an angry cat.

"I wasn't talking to you, you great g—"

"Would you two _please _stop arguing." Sakura snapped out. Neji noticeably flinched at this, and Draco narrowed his eyes suspiciously. The long-haired boy with the creepy eyes _seemed _to be in control, but clearly the true chief-of-operations was Sakura.

Therefore, Draco made use of his Slytherin nature and decided to focus his energy on the best possible route to power. He turned towards the irritated girl and tried to attempt 'contrite'.

"I apologize, I didn't mean to make you angry." Harry quickly added in his own apologies, and Sakura seemed appeased.

"Look how polite they are, Neji. Why can't anyone else be like that?"

Neji glanced up blankly. "Probably because everyone we know has learned of the evil you hold in your soul."

"..."

"...what?"

"...Go scout, Neji. You're being mean again."

Neji obliging stood up and slung himself gracefully into the tree next to him before becoming a blurred shape that quickly disappeared into the forest.

Sakura cast an acidic look at the unassuming tree branches around her, as if they had committed some personal slight against her pride. She sighed and wriggled into a more comfortable position against a nearby tree root that was mossy enough to provide a spongy layer of comfort. "Well, honeys, I guess it's just us! Scoot over here, I need to learn the card games you British wizards play."

Harry and Draco exchanged looks of confusion, for once not even bothering to argue.

* * *

**Hokay! Finally, FF let me load this thing into Doc Manager. It was telling me I had an 'internal error' for _days._ Technology hates my ass, seriously. **

**Kay, I love this. Authors get alerts to whenever someone favorites their story, right? So we _know _how many of you are reading our stories. We also can easily discern all the mean people that are apparently in too much of a hurry to review!!**

**That is why I make these random little polls. People tend to right reviews when they have something to guide them, and so I provide an easy-to-read question that allows for little to no effort on their part. Aren't I nice?**

**This chapter's is...(drum roll)  
**

Poll:

What are the best crack!pairings you can think of involving your favorite characters for the Yule Ball?

**This one should be highly amusing for all parties involved. Sadly, there's a very high chance of me using a lot of them, too. If I do use your couple choice (sometime in the far future), I will also cite you in the author's note as the brilliant human being (hopefully) who thought up the wonderful pairing. Keep in mind that this doesn't have to be a long-term pairing--it's just for the Ball! (Maybe.)**

**Ta ta!! (And review, you moochers 3)  
**

**-taida  
**


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